The Gift of Support for the Grieving

The holiday season is a joyous time of year marked by celebrations with family and friends.  However, if you know some one struggling with the death of a loved one, the holidays may create painful reminders that emphasize their sense of loss.  

This is true for me because my grandmother passed last month and my Dad three years ago. While I am so blessed to have wonderful memories, they are accompanied by the pain I feel from the loss of their still not being here to share in my life and see my children grow up. 

Often we are unsure how to act or what to say to support folks who are grieving loved ones during the holidays. So I found these tips provided by some Counselors from a community based grief support program in Ohio:

·     Do not struggle with finding the "right" words to say. A simple "I'm sorry" is often enough. Can’t tell you how often I used to put my foot in my mouth then after I suffered a loss I understood that less is more…

·     If you do not know what to do, ask yourself, "What would I like done for me under these circumstances?" It's okay to be direct. Just ask grieving friends what they need.

·     If you are unable to tolerate extremely painful mourning, help from afar. Offer to help with chores or running errands.  Never tell a grieving friend not to cry because you are not able to bear it. Weeping is essential so don’t discourage the tears. It’s normal and okay.

·     Share your own grieving experiences, but use good judgment. Only share that which will offer hope and survival.

·     Include grieving friends in social invitations, but be sure to allow them to freely accept or refuse without pressure.

·     Use good judgment in how long to visit. Grieving friends will be grateful you are there, but not comfortable asking you to leave.

·     Acknowledge the loss. This can be said simply and directly or send a note, flowers, or a donations to charities in their name.

·     Sharing spiritual beliefs that are uplifting can give great support; you may even help them find a  Grief Share group at a local church. Praying together can create a sense of unity.

·     Do not withdraw support too quickly after the funeral. This could create another sense of loss.

Now you know what to do and you can give a gift of support to someone and help them feel comforted during the holidays! What a great feeling it will be.

For more information visit  www.hospicewr.org  and www.griefshare.org 

Stand UP for Your Break Time, You Need It!

There is now an Emerging Science of Sedentary Behavior  and Neville Owen , Ph.D., Head of Behavioral Epidemiology at Australia's Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute, presented evidence that suggests sitting for long periods of time is associated with health risks – even for people who are regularly physically active. Sitting time is emerging as a strong candidate for being a cancer risk factor in its own right. "It’s highly likely that the longer you sit, the higher your risk. This phenomenon isn't dependent on body weight or how much exercise people do," said Dr. Owen. However, recent evidence suggests that key indicators of cancer risk are lower when prolonged sitting is interrupted with brief (1-2 minute) breaks

Currently, Dr. Owen and his research team are conducting a randomized trial investigating the link between regular desk breaks and activities that promote standing to cancer risk biomarkers. Evidence from this study might lead to practical recommendations on workplace health, says Dr. Owen, such as removing office waste baskets so you have to get up and walk to them…no more waste basket hoops…, using standing desks…Not as bad as it sounds. 

 I have a set up with my laptop on a counter so that I can stand at times when I am working…, and meetings with standing breaks.  

By now, we've all heard advice to "Take the stairs, not the elevator." Which is good but there are many more ways to infuse your day at work with more activity:

• Set the timer on your computer to remind you every 60 minutes that it's time to step away from your desk and take a short walk down the hall.
• "Walk with me." Got a quick thing to discuss with a co-worker? Instead of sending an email, ask him or her to join you for a walk to hash it out on the go. The pedeconference: It's not just for TV characters anymore.
• Keep light hand weights in your office to use while reading email or talking on the phone.
• During all phone calls and phone meetings, stand up and walk around.
• For a more vigorous activity break, ask your employer to put a punching bag or chin-up bar in your break room. ..just pack some deodorant J
• Your office or cubicle wall is all you need for simple activities like stretches, vertical push-ups and leg lifts.  I have my elastic bands here with me so that I can do it too! 

TAKE A BREAK TODAY!!

November is National Adoption Month

Did you know that November is National Adoption month?  Well, I must admit that I had no clue about this month. If you said November to me I and I thought turkey and black Friday. But now as an adoptive parent it is such a huge part of my life and since I keep running into people who are clueless like I once was and who want to know more I'm going to give you the scoop so that you can be in the know!

Adoption Awareness Month is a nationwide campaign in November to encourage families throughout the United States to open their hearts and homes to children waiting to be adopted, the particular focus is the adoption of children currently in foster care. During the month there is Orphan Sunday which is a Sunday set aside for churches to engage their congregations and communities to hear God's call from the Bible to care for orphans. It's this Sunday, November 6th.  Then there is National Adoption Day which is a collective national effort Celebrated in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, to raise awareness of the 114,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. This year it's November 19th.  

For the last 11 years, National Adoption Day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with courts, judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, child welfare agencies and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent, loving homes for children in foster care.  Foster care is supposed to be temporary. Unfortunately, as thousands of our country's children know. foster care sometimes lasts as long as childhood. Many foster children are legally free for adoption, but on average, nearly two-thirds have been in care more than two years, and only one in five will be adopted. There are thousands of children  that need a permanent home and loving family. If you've ever wanted to be a parent - to help children grow and develop to their fullest potential – this month is for you to learn more and consider adoption. Children of all ages, backgrounds, and abilities, are waiting for parents to make a difference in their lives. They are waiting on YOU!!

Here are a few facts:

• There are an estimated 408,425 children in foster care in the United States, and more than 107,000 of them are waiting to be adopted. 
• Through no fault of their own, these children enter foster care as a result of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment. 
• On average they wait for 3-5 years for a family
• The average age of children waiting for an adoptive family is 8. 
• Nearly 28,000 children reach the age of 18 without ever finding a forever family.
• Married couples, single females & single males can adopt

To find out more about adopting a child in the United States, please visit 

www.nationaladoptionday.org or call 1-800-ASK-DTFA.  And here in TX visit

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/Adoption/ 

In an upcoming blog I will share with you my adoption story from foster care and how God orchestrated things so perfectly.  And how we continue to have divine appointments with other adoptive families and adopted adults who keep us inspired. Plus I will share ideas on how you can help even if adoption is not what you have been called to do.  You can still care for orphans in a very meaningful way!!  

McDonald's in California Has the Right Idea for Halloween: Free Apple Slices

Participating Southern California McDonald's restaurants will offer one free bag of apple slices to costumed customers under the age of 12 on Halloween. This one-day offer is available at participating McDonald's restaurants in Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino and Ventura counties from 4 to 7 p.m. on October 31.

In September, California was one of the first states to unveil the new Happy Meal which automatically includes Apple Slices (1/4 cup or 1/2 serving) and new smaller size French Fries (approximately 1.1 ounces) as a side to the choice of Chicken McNuggets®, a Hamburger, or Cheeseburger.  The meal also includes a choice of beverage in which 1% white milk or fat-free chocolate milk are options.  The new Happy Meal is now available at all Southern California McDonald's and nationwide by the first quarter of 2012.

The new Happy Meal aims to address a challenge kids face in meeting the recommended daily consumption of produce. The new Happy Meal is anticipated to introduce about 100 million cups of produce annually into the diets of McDonald's youngest customers.

The new Happy Meal is part of McDonald's USA "Commitment to Offer Improved Nutrition Choices", a comprehensive plan which aims to help customers–especially children and families – make nutrition-minded choices whether visiting McDonald's or eating elsewhere. In addition to adding a produce or low-fat dairy option to every Happy Meal, McDonald's will reduce added sugars, saturated fat and calories through varied portion sizes, reformulations and innovations by 2020.  Furthermore, the company will reduce sodium an average of 15 percent across its national menu of food choices by 2015.

Okay so apples are on top of the Environmental Working Group's list of Dirty Dozen for pesticides but hey, you've got to admit this is great news.

For more information about the new Happy Meal and McDonald's "Commitments to Offer Improved Nutrition Choices", visit www.McDonalds.com/changing.

5 Safety Tips to Avoid the Boo-Boos This Halloween

Halloween can be thrilling and fun, but also potentially dangerous. Pumpkin carving, costumes, unfamiliar homes, and young children traveling in darkness all provide possible scenarios for accidents and injuries.

  

A nine-year study examining holiday-related pediatric emergency room visits between 1997 and 2006 showed Halloween among the top three holidays for ER visits with finger/hand injuries accounting for the greatest proportion of injuries - mainly lacerations and fractures.  And ages 10-14 sustained most of these injuries.

 So here are  5 HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIPS:

1.     Safe Costumes: Costumes should be flame-resistant and fit properly. Costumes that are too long may cause kids to trip and fall, so trim or hem them as necessary. Be sure that your or your child's vision is not obstructed by masks, face paint or hats. Go ahead and make mask eye and breathing holes larger.  Wear sturdy, comfortable, slip-resistant shoes to avoid falls.  If you make your costume, use flame-resistant fabrics such as polyester or nylon. If you wear make up test it a few days before to rule out an allergic reaction. And those glow in the dark cat eyes? Well the FDA & Opthamologists are discouraging them because of the long term risks they pose.

2.     Be Bright at Night - Add reflective plastic tape to costumes and trick-or-treat bags to make yourself and your kids more visible. Also carry a flashlight (use fresh batteries!) to see and be seen – or a glow stick or little flashing decorations, at least.

3.     Have a Careful Contact Strategy – If your child doesn't carry an I.D., simply jot down name/ address/contact info, place it a small plastic zipper bag and slide it into a pocket.  A cell phone that has been preset with home and parent cell numbers in the phone adds another layer of protection.

4.     Protected Pumpkin Carving: In general, children should not carve pumpkins. However, some Halloween carving devices, designed especially for children, may be safe for use with parental supervision. Children also can empty the seeds out of the pumpkin, or use a pumpkin decorating sticker kit that does not involve carving to stay safely involved.

5.     Be Inspector Gadget: Inspect commercially wrapped treats for signs of tampering, such as an unusual appearance or discoloration, tiny pinholes, or tears in wrappers. Throw away anything that looks suspicious or any chocking hazards for small children such as gum peanuts or hard candy.  It’s a good idea to eat a snack before heading out, so you won’t be tempted to nibble on treats that haven’t been inspected. And, hey why not lead by example and give out fun inspirational stickers and pencils rather than candy!

Have a fun safe time as you light the night!

Sources: The FDA, American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons and  the American Chemistry Council

5 Easy Ways to De-stress Anytime Anywhere

STRESS – We all get it but how we manage it and deal with it is key, especially now that it is fall, we are headed in the fourth and final quarter of the year and the beginning of multiple holidays amidst school and fall sports, work deadlines, traffic, etc... It’s a busy time of year and that can mean stress.

            So the next time you are having a bad day try these 5 anytime, anywhere techniques that researchers have found to be effective de-stressors: 

1.     Give yourself a quick foot massage - it can have almost the same stress-lowering benefit as a full-body rubdown, according to Roberta Lee, MD, author of The SuperStress Solution. That means rubbing your toes, heel, ankle up to your calves. Easy to do in your office chair in the break room or in the car before you get out for that next meeting.

2.     Chew Gum -  According to research, chewing a stick of gum seems to reduce stress and anxiety, as well as improve mental performance during tasks. In one study, gum chewers report they were less stressed, less depressed and less likely to see a doctor for high blood pressure or high cholesterol. And they had fresh breath!

3.     Take a Deep Breath - No matter where you are, taking a deep whiff of lavender or rosemary can put you into a more relaxed state. Inhaling those aromas can lower your levels of the stress hormone cortisol. But just the act of breathing deeply is also a stress buster. Deep breathing sends oxygen surging through your bloodstream, helping to calm your entire body.

4.     Take a Walk - Exercise is a great way to ease stress. It helps your body produce endorphins -- the neurotransmitters in your brain that make you feel good. Exercising in warm, sunny weather can boost your mood.

HERE’S MY FAVORITE:

5.     Sing a Song - Turn up the radio in the car or start crooning in the shower. No matter how out of tune you are, singing can make you feel happier. Choral members who were surveyed said singing put them in a better mood and made them feel less stressed. Singing also can be good for your breathing and posture, as well as your heart and immune system.  

There you have it. FIVE easy any-time anywhere de-stressors.  This is a plan that will help turn those bad days around.  

Are You A Part of Generation ZERO?

Ever heard of Generation Zero?  Well, it is going to be the first generation of men free from prostate cancer.  With Zero prostate cancer deaths. Zero prostate cancer cases. Zero tolerance for prostate cancer.

September is National Prostate Awareness Month.  Prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among men.

ZERO — The Project to End Prostate Cancer, is committed to not only to reducing prostate cancer or alleviating the pain from the disease but to ending it.

So here’s the deal, every man has some level of risk for getting prostate cancer, yet many other factors make some men more susceptible to prostate cancer than others.

·      Age is the strongest risk factor for getting prostate cancer. But other risk factors include

·      Race

·      family history

·      diet and obesity

·      cholesterol

·      chemical exposure

·      genetics

·      exercise and

·      smoking. 

One in every six men gets prostate cancer at some point.  But the good news is that the survival rate is nearly 100 percent when prostate cancer is detected early.

So getting the Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) test  is key.

In general, men should begin testing for prostate cancer at age 45. If you have one ore more of the risk factors you should begin annual prostate cancer testing at age 40.

Prostate cancer doesn't show its face early on making it nearly impossible to detect in the early stages.

So men, before National Prostate Cancer Awareness month ends schedule your PSA test.  And women, encourage the men in your life to schedule their test.  

Visit www.zerocancer.org for more information.